Suntans and Boy bands
by Shanice Kimberley
Summary: Bella and her girls are stopping at the beach house they all rent, when a dare from Alice, turns into more then they could every imagine. Lemons later on.
1. Meaty man chodes

**Another story that's been floating around my head whilst I wait for inspiration to strike on Forget You.**

**Hope you enjoy this, it'll be more humour then the last since this one will have more of a plan to it.**

**None of the Twilightness is mine, although in my dreams Robert is.**

**...**

"Okay Alice, truth or dare?" I asked peering over the small campfire.

"Mmmmm, dare!" She exclaimed after slight hesitation.

"Are you sure, because things are getting a bit brutal, and we're all half naked. In public. On a beach, with sand in unwanted places?" I had to ask, things are getting tense.

"Of course, now hit me with your best shot biiaaatchesssss." Squaring her shoulders Ali prepared for whatever the games master Rosalie was conjuring up in that slightly twisted head of hers.

After a moment of thought an evil glint came to her eye, and she sat there smirking, putting a slight waver on Ali's drunken confidence.

"Alice Brandon, I want you to go over to the beach house next door, lift up your shirt, and press your tattas to the front window glass. After knocking to ensure being seen." She added that last bit with a shrug like it was no biggy.

Ali leant back and squinted at the evil girl infront of her, sizing up the dare and pondering the consequenses.

"Fine. But you two have to come with and make sure I don't get murdered or ravaged by some perveted type people. And if they come out before we leave I want you two to explain why I did it while I run off. Got it?"

Not really wanting to leave our girl hanging we agreed, and marched with her to our neighbouring house. Waiting behind a bush we tried to keep in oour snickers as Ali tiptoed to the front window and peered through it, checking for the savage murderers she was no doubt picturing inside.

Watching in anticipation, she timidly redead her shirt, rapped on the window and pressed her tits up to it wriggling about.

Unable to hold it in any longer, we burst into a fit of loud cackling tumbling into a heap out of the bush. Alice ran past us screaming at us to get up, but it was too funny.

"Sh..she...really...d-did it!" I screamed far too loudly, but too drunk to care.

"I can't believe...she...wiggled...th-them! I bet...there's...a smear!" Rose was now laughing that hard she'd started making this weird dying noise.

That ofcours brought on my own dying noise, and before we knew it, we were both trying to choke in air whilst also attempting to calm the fuck down.

"Really, was it that funny? No, no it wasn't, now please come back before they hear us!" Ali whisper yelled creeping up behind us.

Assessing the situation she couldn't help but start chuckling, which soon turned into chortles and finally the laughing/dying noise.

We could've been there for hours, who the fuck knew, but the only thing that stopped us was a yell from inside the house.

"DUDE, DID YOU SEE THOSE TITTIES!"

Sobering up immediately we raced back to the camp fire, to remove evidence before the murderers come out.

"FUCK!"

"SHIT!"

"NOOOOO!"

"STAMP ON IT GODDAMMIT!"

"NO, MY FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

"JUST DO IT, NOW BEFORE THEY MURDER US!"

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Ali cried bursting into alcohol induced hysterics.

Rose and I abruptly started laughing again momentarily forgetting the danger.

"STOP LAUGHIIIIIIIIIIIING, I DON'T WANNA DIEEEEEEEEEEE! WHAT ABOUT MY SHOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! MUMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Picking up our discared clothes and bottles we tumbled back into the house, cackling loudly along the way, Ali running in circles infront of us still crying.

"Alice, shut the fuck up if you don't want to get butchered then stop crying. They'll hear you over us!" Rose snapped, assessing the actual danger we could be in.

"Yeah, stop crying, you're making my ears bleed. If we arm ourselves and sleep in the same room we'll be find!" I yelled realising I had the answer.

"Okay," she sniffled," I suppose that would work, and I can always bring my shoes in too! Yeah, that's it, WELL DONE BELLY!"

"Both of you, shut the fuck up! I'm actually scared now, thanks to you two making me watch C.S.I last night you chodes! Why did I ask you to do that!" Rose's chin started trembling and it was a race to get her inside and arm ourselves before our possible attackers attack.

Settling down in the main bedroom, me with a baseball bat, Rose with a bbgun (why she has one I'll never know), and Ali with her highest pare of heels.

We are ready. We are warriors. And we are quietly playing the mission impossible theme tune on the ipod.

Just as we were about to crash, we heard it.

A voice, and another one. And then a third. All male. All possible serial killers.

"Dude I'm telling you, there were titties and they were like, right there, on the window. I thought it was a dream until I realised I had a huge boner!" One exclaimed, the same one that shouted earlier.

"Emmett, that's fucking disgusting." The second said, making gagging noises.

"Yes it is, and what makes you think who ever did it's going to willingly come out and greet us after that? All you do is think with your dick, and because it's tiny, you think small." The third voice laughed, earning snickers off the second.

"You're only saying that because you're insecure about that rat sized shlong in your tidy whities. What I'm packing here is one hundred percent man meat! I'd let you have a look, but you'd probably try to touch it." The first voice, _Emmett_ replied.

We all shared a glance, looking less worried but more curious then earlier. All still clutching our weapons though. _Come on! We're not idiots! _We slowly shuffled up to the window ledge, peering over at our visitors.

All could see was the tops of three heads. Rose getting confident started to rise, and just as she was preparing to crank the window a torch beam shot up and she dropped to the floor.

"What the shit was that!" The second voice cried, obviously scared of whatever glimpse of Rose they had seen.

"How the fuck would I know Jaz, it looked like a person!" The third answered.

"Maybe we should head back, I'm pretty scared and I really don't want to crap my pants." Emmett muttered his voice slowly dying away, signalling his hasty retreat.

"Yeah Edward, maybe we should go back in. You know do it in the morning, in the day light?" The one I'm assuming called Jaz said.

"Yeah, maybe we should. Cause you know, the lighting's not good and we're tired, and SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" The third one Edward screamed running fast, judging my the extremely quick thumping in the sand.

Making sure they were all at a distance we turned on the light, looked at each other and laughed.

"Well they didn't sound so dangerous." Rose mentioned once we'd all climed into bed and settled in for the night.

"Yeah, they sounded pretty harmless actually, maybe slightly cool." Ali judged, a thoughtful look on her face.

While we spent the rest on the night assessing our neighbours, I devised a brilliant plan.

Just before we all drifted off I divulged my information.

"I was thinking," I started," tomorrow night we play a little prank on them, shake am up a bit. Rose you still have that zombie makeup?"

"Mmhmm." Rose mumbled drousily.

"Good, we'll need it." I smirked, before sleep succumbed me.

And that was the start of the most amazing summber of my life.

**...**

**What do you think? Do you prefer this to the other one, if so let me know?**

**I had something like this running in my head for a while, even before Forget You, but I never wrote it down.**

**It's just an experiment really, to see how it'll go. Well an experiment I'm really enjoying.**

**So let me know! I'm ridiculously new to this, so if anyone wants to co-write or offer me some adivce, it would be much appreciated!**

**Thankyou, Shanice xxxxx**


	2. QUICK NOTE!

**Just to let you guys know, the pictures on are my profile, and I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry for not uploading, I've been more busy then I've EVER been!**

**Next chapter will be up in a few minutes :D!**


	3. With screaming boys and laughing girls

**Sorry for being late guys, I feel horrid for abandoning you! I love you all!**

**Once again, not mine, wish it were :L**

**...**

As much as we'd have loved to of spent the day plotting and planning to our hearts content we couldn't, because we each had our respective jobs to do. Ali's as assistent manager at a small but popular clothing store just off the pier, Rose's as a head egineer, and me, little old me, I worked as a surf instructor.

Each entirely different jobs, but which suited us perfectly.

Unlike most people, work was my life, without it I'd be a lost soul. It's not just the idea of working on a beautiful pristine beach six days a week, it's mostly who I work with. The sheer joy on the kids faces during the lesson was more then worth coming to work for. No matter whether they fell off repeatedly, injured themselves, even if they were unable to stand on the board, none of that mattered to them because of the unlimited fun they were having.

Just before we'd left to begin our day, we decided to leave them a little parting note, all Rose's idea ofcourse since she was the one they'd thought was some kind of ghost. She'd decided to slather her hands in dirt and leave two hand shaped smears on both their door and their window.

I hesitated of couse, considering that we might scare them away, but my fears were quickly shot down when I'd considered the fun we could be letting ourselfs in for.

...

One thing I've learned pretty early on about the girls, was that no matter where you were or what you were doing, say eating your dinner, if they wanted to talk sex in explicit detail, they would...

And it was usually Rose that came out with the most disturbingly graphic comment.

"No, all I'm saying is that you can't justify what you call a mind blowing orgasm by simply saying, it was nice. No Swan, you can't even call a normal orgasm _nice_, and if that's the case, who the fuck have you been sleeping with!"

"No I suppose you can't." I said thoughtfully before we erupted into a fit of giggles.

Ali calming down first, looked at each of us seriously before telling us one of her horrific experiences.

"There was this one time in camp," we giggled again, remembering Alice's summer at cheerleading camp,"ha ha fucking ha, anywaaaaaaay. This one time in camp, Carlos had been bigging up his, and I quote "battering ram" so I thought, why the fuck not. I swear to God I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing throughout the whole thirty fucking seconds of it."

Another round of uncontrollable laughing ensued and we had to cling to eachother and the table to stay grounded.

Bringing us back to the main task at hand, other then eating dinner, Rose began.

"Ok girlies, we need to think this through clearly. I saw we wait til it's dark and we scare the shit out of them, white faces and all."

We were clearly adults...

"Ok, but what if they try to like attack or something?" I had to ask, because it was a very big posibilty. Rose of course had clearly thought all of this through.

"If that were to happen, we simply scream 'surrender', que Ali's crocodile tears and hey presto they stop. Plus I doubt they'd actually be brave enough to even try to attack us."

She did have a point.

Just after dinner we got ourselfs ready. Each opting for white faces, dark circles under our eyes and a few blood streaks, not fogetting the bed sheet outfits. Not our most attractive moment I'm not gonna lie, but that didn't matter, we were on a mission.

After not hearing anything from the boys all day we were sceptical as to whether they were still there until Ali, on a scouting mission being the smallest, heard them moving around and talk an hour or so ago, and we kept a look out encase they went out.

We were careful not to turn on any main lights to alert them of our presence or to make any noticable noise.

Before we knew it, it was time.

Slowly creeping through the small cluster of trees seperating there house from ours we began operation 'ghost time'.

Alice took up front, Rose taking the back entrace, and utilizing my rarely used acrobatic moves, I climed up onto the balcony. The whole process was dangerous and many times we were almost caught, mainly because of Alice's not entirely quiet yelps whenever I made a paticularly challenging manouver. But that probably added to our wanted atmosphere we relented. Until they got gradually louder.

"Ali, for the last time, shut the fuck up, Bella's up and she's fine, we're all fine, and I really want to scare the shit out of these guys." Rose temperally losing patiense marched over and whisper yelled some sense into her before marching back to her hiding place.

Rose began by making terrifying inhale/screech noises and slowly twirling around there back yard, close enough to be heard, but far enough for them to see her as a white blur flitting though the trees and over grown grass.

Ali then started trapsing across the beach making hauntingly soft humming noises, kicking up sand and gradually coming closer.

And I began my perfected creepy grudge type noise and random broken walking back and forth across the balcony.

We knew ammidiately we'd achieved desired affect, as the one we recognised as Emmet began screaching in an incredibly unmasculine way, throughout the house.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE'S SOME KIND OF DEMON LADY GHOST IN THE BACK YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRD! I SAAAAAAAAAW IT! JASPER HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Jasper upon seeing Alice, launched into his own round of girly screaching, "EDWARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, WHERE ARE YOU! EMMETT I THINK THEY GOT EDWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!" Running wildly obviously wasn't wise as not two seconds later, Jasper and Emmett had a head on colision.

Edward obviously hearing the noises but doubting there origins began to berate them, until he saw Bella. "Guys calm the fuck down, it's probably a goat or somethi-...HOLY SHIT FUCKS THERE'S ONE UP HERE! GUYYSSSS THE BASEMENT WE NEED TO GO INTO THE BASEME-" Edward abruptly cut off as he went thumping down the stairs on his ass.

Unable to hold it in anymore we girls exploded into obnoxious laughter. Realising that they were infact not in mortal peril the guys slowly came out of there fear induced hase.

"What the fuck?" Came Jasper's first thought.

"I don't believe it." Came Edward's.

"This is war!" Emmett declared.

Realising that this meant fight or flight we chose the latter and scrambled away as quickly as humainly possible. I may have even suprised myself in the way I made like a lizard off the balcony.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" I called as we raced back to the house.

Upon entering we locked all doors and windows and once again hid in Rose's bedroom. Knowing they wouldn't come barging over and that they couldn't possibly be really angry we awaited their slow arrival.

"Ladies, ladies, ladies. I think you were trying to scare us were you not?" Knowing we wouldn't reply Emmett continued.

"Well as I said earlier, this is war...And you'd better be prepared." Came his parting comment as we sat and basked in his words.

Oh Emmett, if only you knew just how prepared we were.

**...**

**Thankyou for being patient! I hope you enjoyed it! If anyone's got any ideas of what I should do next message me and I'll consider everything!  
>Please let me know exactly what you guys think? It's like 2:20 am here so I apologize for any spelling mistakes and such!<strong>

**Once again PLEASE let me know!**

**Loveyou all Shanice**

**xxxxxx**


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